GEWICHT: 49 kg
BH: 75 DD
Services: Kussen, Sextoys, Korperbesamung, Kussen, Dildo passiv
The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. Welcome to Sex Qs, a weekly column where The Globe's Amberly McAteer seeks answers to your sex questions, talking to sexperts and regular Canadians alike.
I waited two months to have sex with my boyfriend. I wanted to build the relationship before going into the bedroom, so I took it very slow. But now we've been sleeping together for a few weeks, and the sex is bad — really bad. Can sex get better, or should I turn tail and run? I'm a huge proponent of sticktuitiveness: Fake it 'til you make it, I say. From the downward dog to parallel parking, practice makes perfect. But sex is a completely different beast: It's either something or it's nothing.
Run fast and far — but with the caveat that you and I agree on the definition of bad sex. We're not talking the first time because let's face it, almost anything can happen in that first mattress dance. And I hope it's not for lack of communication — no "he goes left when he should go right" nonsense. If that's the case, tell him to go right, gently. No, I'm trusting when you say bad sex it's a matter of mismatched, chemistry: Do not resuscitate, do not pass go. Of course sex can get better — become mind-blowing even — over time, but in the first two weeks of sex, after two months of build-up, you should be just barely resisting the urge to tear off your clothes in public.
David McKenzie, on his hands-free cellphone as he drives through Vancouver. I called an expert, and in doing so clearly inflicted some road rage. Simply getting used to another person's body, says Dr. McKenzie, doesn't happen in a number of weeks, no matter how big the, uh, carrot. Shouldn't the spark — the instant you touch — be a fire? I can hear him white-knuckling the wheel. He says there's "some scientific evidence" to support the presence of chemistry — "that spark you speak of," he chides, "but there's nothing conclusive.
The good doctor begs you to give him six months. He says sex isn't "the be all and end all" of a good relationship, and if you're nuts about him, you have many other reasons to stick around. To me, however, six months of bad sex will reverberate into all other areas of your relationship. Twisting her new, engagement ring as she talks, the young paramedic instantly strikes me as an expert on love, lust and lasting relationships. Alex applauds you in principle, for waiting: The sex was "literally fire" since the first time.